Being a Teenager – Adolescent Problems

There are two main forces of adolescence the onset of sexuality and the mandate that teenagers will move away from their parents gradually and from being an infant to childhood and on to adolescence and move further away from their parents. A teenager will become virtually allergic to the parents almost reducing parents to tears. Teenage boys will become covert and hide away from parents whilst girls will challenge and become motivated by pushing the parent’s buttons to test the stress threshold.

The area of human sexuality is intricate and walking on eggshells as the young teenage males are still grappling with his or her own sexual competences and awareness. The ubiquitous mobile phone and tablets serve to intensify the privacy of their developing lives and with it becomes higher levels of stress on top of academic work assignments and sexual relationships. They refuse to use the landline and will go to extremes to keep their world inaccessible and ultimately private. It is the immeasurable power of social media that shapes who the teenagers are and what they were previously and what they will become. It is to them the ultimate source of reality define their entirety and emotional networks.

The laws and rules of human sexuality prescribe the male teenagers attraction to the mother as his parent and also his mentor but herein lies the conflict. He’s attracted to young women in his peer’s group as he works out his sexuality and emotional regulation. The physiological attraction to the teenager’s mother also triggers off a gradual moving further away from her in his teenage mind. He wants to demonstrate his autonomy, as do his sisters, but he may feel that he is dishonorable towards her and she feels rejected. He will struggle with his father-son relationship as he becomes fully aware of same-sex feelings and tries to negotiate this developmental pathway he has to work hard to refine the emotional closeness and affection showed by his father, or in many cases nowadays none at all. As the stress levels rise in the male and female teenagers, the males who have much less verbal reasoning skills will avoid any attempt to negotiate with parents preferring to demonstrate their Fight-Or-Flight competences.

teenage girl

There is also at this stage a moving away from the previous state of selves and emotional attachment towards an adolescent battlefield where daily battles are fought with both parents. The retaliatory spirit motivates him to leave no trace as to where he is, no texts or phone calls to parents but his inner-self will motivate him to return like the prodigal son without judgment. Girls will do the opposite by engaging in mini-battles with both parents going into playing mind games and stretching their parents psychologically with no outward displays of respect or affection.

They feel it’s unacceptable to be now attached to parents as that’s for children, nor do they wish to be dependent on them. They know the strategy to break the parent’s emotional resilience and win the day. The motivational states of teenage daughters are to get the message across to parent’s that “I am not dependent on you and don’t try to love me, it doesn’t work”.

Because their sexuality is not such a big issue in their relationship with their parents some teenage girls can build up a strong relationship with the dad, only if the father can grapple with his daughter’s tantrums and displays of anger, confusion, resentment, and frustration. Interestingly even though the son goes off-court, the teenage girl will wish to stay on center court preserving the attachment to both parents.

There are two main forces of adolescence the onset of sexuality and the mandate that teenagers will move away from their parents gradually and from being an infant to childhood and on to adolescence and move further away from their parents. They become virtually allergic to the parents almost reducing parents to tears. There is a full-scale enigma here as the feelings which pull kids towards parents during teenage years also becomes repulsive to the teenagers. Teenage boys will become covert and hide away from parents whilst girls will become and challenge motivated by pushing the parent’s buttons to test the stress threshold. Girls will do the opposite by engaging in mini-battles with both parents going into playing mind games and stretching their parents psychologically with no outward displays of respect or affection.


October 11th, 2017 by